How to spot child abuse, what to do

Review: This book is a wake up call for everyone who works with children, says Shelley O’Sullivan


Hidden in front of us
Anthea Simcock, with Lee-Anne Duncan
Maruki Books

This book prompts adults to take another look at what is happening to children, particularly those who are attempting to communicate through their behaviour   and to take action. Too often adults will suspect a child is in trouble, but do not know how to ask the difficult questions and stand up for the child.
Twenty-four New Zealand adults who were victims of abuse as children, most commonly being harmed by a parent or caregiver, vividly share their experiences. Their survival stories provide an insight into their thoughts and feelings as abused children   feelings of worthlessness, embarrassment and torment as victims, and their inability to comprehend what was happening to them.
Behaviours
The book provides examples of behaviours that may indicate a child is being abused. It describes the signals such as not making eye contact, limited verbal communication, becoming difficult to deal with, signs of neglect of their personal hygiene and wearing inappropriate clothing to cover up bruises.
Often teachers will despair over a child who they know is capable but who has “shut down” and stopped completing tasks.
Other adults will describe children as tired or anxious for no apparent reason. With no obvious physical explanation, tiredness and illness can be brought about by the anxiety and exhaustion that comes from being abused and waiting in fear for the abuse to happen.
Practical help
The authors provide practical information to adults around allegations and disclosures, highlighting that while false allegations do happen they are not common, especially in pre-school and primary school.
The adults in the book provide stories about having the courage to tell an adult they have been abused, and not being believed. One child told his mother he didn’t want to go off with a man who was sexually abusing him but his mother told him to stop being a “little shit” and just go.
Another child asked her leader at Brownies for help and was told, “I can’t get involved”. Not only was the child horrified by the response but she was terrified the Brownie leader would tell her stepfather and she would get into more trouble.
Take action
Not believing a child’s disclosure leads to further harm for the child psychologically, as they feel worthless, and physically as they are often punished for disclosing. Shame, fear, uncertainty and a lack of the right words all played a part in preventing those who were interviewed from telling or seeking help.
Overall, Hidden in Front of Us provides practical ideas for adults about what the signs of abuse may look like and shares ideas about what can be done to help. It is a good reference book for adults in the community to read, take action and stop the abuse suffered by children in New Zealand. The authors are connected to the organisation Child Matters – http://www.childmatters.org.nz.
Shelley O’Sullivan is an educational psychologist, based in Hawera.